Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
