Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
This house was built for laser tag.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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