to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
