I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
