My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
