Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You were trust falling into bushes
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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