He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
A bitchslap is in order.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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