PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
