life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Can you bring me the toilet please
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
