Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
