u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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