i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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