More tranny stories later!
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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