she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
