he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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