Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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