Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
