Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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