I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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