its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
