i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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