Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I need a beard to bite.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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