drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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