Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
