i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
