So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Randomize
