i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
