i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
