oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
