Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
