She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
