Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The air was thick with penises
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
