Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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