I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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