ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
