Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Is it because I queefed?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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