Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
