We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
