just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
