just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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