found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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