update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
