dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
