Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
