weddingsv make me drug and hornr
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize