I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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