We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
