Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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