I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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