If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
