is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
